My God Will Come Through... Always!

With the future in mind, while paying attention to todays challenges. This is the inner battle I've been dealing with the last few days! Why, if God wants me in a place so far from where I am, is this extremely difficult situation going on right underneath my nose. Greece. I know it's coming! On the other hand he has given me an opportunity to be light in this lifeless and challenging situation. As most of you know, I have been in aspen for a while, so coming home is always a getaway. Not so much any more. I have realized the realities of financial struggle and an otherwise strong foundation crumbling under my feet. It breaks my heart. To see a father who is so tough and seems to have it all together, lose it cause it's not going perfectly is a little disheartening. Trials, struggle, tribulation. Life wouldn't be life without them. But so often our view is fogged by the things we cannot change and the things we will never be able to accomplish. I wish I could write a check and be done with it, but God isn't going to let us off the hook that easily. You see, my family is great. It's the quintessential - we -look-like-we-have-it-all-together - family. Great for image bad for everything else. In the heart and soul of each of us there is something that holds finances to an extremely high standard. We've always lived a somewhat comfortable life, nothing too crazy or extravagant, but it's kind of controlled us. I know for me it has. Over the past few months of my "year-off" deal, God has completely taken everything I know about finances, moderation and success and changed my perspective completely. And ever since I've been home, it has been in the forefront of my mind - in an overwhelming and challenging way. I want nothing more than to experience God and His undying love for me, but how can I do that when I am holding on to these things he has blessed me with in the first place. To truly surrender, means to live up control- only with His help will I be able to completely rid me of all things Kristi and take hold of my life.

Pride. It seems to creep into each of these situations and make us feel like we owe it to ourselves to succeed and anything less is incompetence and failure. Struggles can be manageable if we don't let this debilitating fear of the lack of pride cloud our vision. You see, pride is a great thing. Knowing we can accomplish our goals, standing on the back side of a finish line, giving something of great value away for something greater can cause a sense of pride and worth for all. But on the flip side, pride can eat you alive. It can ruin every good thing about yourself cause you believe you have to live up to a standard that is set and a bar that is too high to be reached. There is a bar set too high, but it can be attained. I've realized this one thing... Bars that are set high are there for a reason. It's not to make us depressed because we can't reach them, they are there to focus on the One who can reach them and only through that One will we ever obtain success in these areas. Financially. Relationally. What ever area that may be. There are plenty of bars that are set extremely high, but the only way you or I will ever reach it is through the grace and mercy of Jesus. I don't know about you, but I've tried to reach too many of these bars and it just didn't work out. The bars I've tried to reach have only left me with broken hearts, battle scars and too many credit cards. But, once I can give Jesus my everything my heart will be healed, my bruises can be used for glory and my credit cards can be no more. I set this bar to be everything I thought I wanted in this life. Things that would make me look good to other people, but to Jesus I am perfect. A little rough around the edges, yes, but perfect nonetheless. Perfect only BecAuse He has saved me. Before I knew Him, he saved me from these imaginary bars that are set too high, so high that you and I will never be able to reach. But with one touch of His hand, it's obtainable. So, in this time, I have hope that He will rescue the hearts of the broken and heal the souls who have been hurt. I have hope that He will set the standard high in order to show that it was only Him who could have helped us through. He will come through. He always does. As long as I put my full faith and trust in Him, He will come through, always!

February 1... A few hours later

The weight of disappointment lifted.
Last night (or early this morning) was an attack of my heart by the one who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy my hope. I felt incompetent, unloved, and unworthy. Its amazing how God can lift the burden or pain and insert love that covers all things I may feel. Because God says something different. He says, "you are worthy, you are loved, and you are mine!" Have you ever thought about that? I mean really thought about the fact that we are His. In light of all awful situations, just the fact that I can stop and think about the reality that I am Gods! The creator of the universe who died because He loves me. Crazy! Every money issue, every hard time seems to fall by the way side in the light that I Am His! I don't have to worry. I don't have to stress. He Loves Me. I Am His!