I Was Supposed To….

At this moment, I am currently sitting at my house in Rome. I’m not complaining by any means, but my family is currently on vacation in the mountains where I was supposed be this week as well. I’ve had a full range of emotions since they left: sad because the mountains are my happy place, excited because I get to rest and be alone, annoyed because I have been sick for 3 weeks (hence why I am staying home, doctors orders), and many others.

And, for a split second I believed I am not where I am supposed to be. I prayed that I would be able to go on this trip, with that gut feeling that it won’t go the way I planned it. When the doctor said I was too sick to leave Rome, I felt as though she just punched me in the stomach.

“But God, it’s the MOUNTAINS! Remember, I love them. This will be bonding time with the family and I! I don’t want them to be put out because I’m not there. And God… IT IS THE MOUNTAINS!”

Prayers answered, but not how I wanted. “But God, I’m SUPPOSED to be in the mountains right now.” The words flooded out so quickly, and like the gracious Father He is, God stopped me in my tracks.

I’m not where I’m supposed to be….statistics say, I am supposed to be married with 2.5 children, I am supposed to have a steady job, I am supposed to have enough money saved up to feed a small country, I am supposed to….supposed to…supposed to…

The reality is, my “supposed to” is now irrelevant. Into my rant about where I am “supposed to be” God breathed these words….

When you step into immeasurably more you step out of “supposed to” and into surrender.

With God our cup overflows. When we accept living in immeasurably more, we must loosen our grip to where we are “supposed to be.” With open hands, we allow God to work outside of the confines of expectation. From my point of view, I believed that I was “supposed to be” in the mountains…but that is exactly it…it was from my point of view: limited and narrow minded. I can’t see beyond what I can see… what I choose to see.

That is the bonus of surrender, my eyes can be shut to direction but I’m being guided by the One who sees all, is in all, and created all. It is hard not to trust Him…yet it is hard to trust. I know that in my mind, I was supposed to be somewhere else this week.

But if I was always where I believed I was supposed to be, I wouldn’t be where I am right now.

Rome. Italy. Immeasurably More. Being refined in His fire. Challenged. My life is the proof that God sees beyond my view point and into His perfect plan. I’m “supposed to be” a lot of things, but that was thrown to the wayside when I said “Yes” to Him. So, I can settle knowing I’m right where I need to be, in immeasurably more where nothing makes sense and God gets all the glory!