Freedom's Fire.

Freedom’s Fire.

Freedom. We all desire it. The ability to not have to answer to anyone or explain your actions to others. We all want to live life freely, as do I. But the realization of wanting freedom and actually experiencing it, are two completely different things.

It wasn’t something I necessarily asked for, but when living in the plans of God, He allows us the freedom to live the life He so beautiful and masterfully crafted for each of us. This freedom, however, looks a bit different than what I expected. My freedom isn’t the world’s definition of freedom. I have to answer to God. I am allowed to live under His perfect grace and I have to trust His ways are good. This isn’t freedom where I live alone without rules, consequences, or guidelines. It is dependent freedom. I am quite certain I’ve never used those two words together in a sentence before, but there is so much beauty in the freedom God offers.

I have been in Italy for two and a half weeks, and God has spoken and breathed so much freedom into my life already.

 Freedom from myself.

Freedom from what “I” am supposed to look like.

Freedom from the “me” I created.

Freedom to live the way I was made.

This freedom has caused so many emotions. It is a beautiful picture of what God is doing in my life, but the most painful process I have experienced to date.

God grabbed hold of my heart a few years ago, and the journey we have been on since is indescribable. It is completely different to know about the journey you are on with God and to actually walk it out. I knew that God was preparing to strip away the parts of me that were holding me back from living fully alive. I knew that God wanted me all to Himself. I knew that His ways are so different than my ways. And, now, on my silver platter painted with a green, white, and red stripe of the Italian flag, this knowledge has become real life. He wants the grown-up version of me with a childlike faith. Oh, to balance this. He is stripping away the “me” I so desperately try to be (even though I didn’t have a clue what I was striving for!) and has placed me in the refining fire of His grace. For those of you who aren’t aware….fire burns. It hurts. It is painful. But it purifies. And eventually, after this process, He will be able to see His reflection in me! Be still, my soul. There IS benefit to living in freedom’s fire. Piece by piece, He is tearing away the “me” I knew, and allowing me the freedom to see Him more clearly.

“And I will put this third into the fire and refine them as one refines silver, and test them as gold is tested. They will call upon my name, and I will answer them. I will say, ‘They are my people’ and they will say, ‘The Lord is my God.’” Zechariah 13:9