Struggle. A word that each of us are all too accustomed to. Recently, I have been under the influence of this word in many ways but most awfully in finding complete satisfaction in God. Saying...well typing...this makes me think of just how stupid it sounds. How could I not be satisfied in the One who gave everything He had for me..unworthy, unlovable me? Why do I struggle in finding complete satisfaction in His Word, His love, and His Heart. I had a 5 hour car ride from Woodstock to Hinesville, GA to think about this answer and only one thing came to mind..... This world. Society. Our sinful nature. Satan. Ok, maybe a lot more than one thing, but they can all be rolled together in a great big ball of temptation. I can not discount that Satan is at work in this world and trying to use every power of his to minimize our faith and our hope in Jesus. Finding satisfaction in Jesus is so hard, because it is Satan's goal to refocus our eyes on things we do not have...i'll be the first to admit it. I think my problem is that He is so worthy and I am so...Not...It just doesn't seem possible. But this struggle in finding satisfaction stems from the lies that Satan is dangling in my face - you don't have ___ then you are not good enough.
In this car ride down to the boonies, I still struggled with the back and forth argument with my heart and my head. My heart wants so badly to live 100% in awe of my Jesus, but my head still sees the worldly things being flashed around seeming so obtainable. The answer FINALLY hit me....it was like God was saying, but i'm here, isn't that enough? Don't you get it? I am here and I came for you, to love you, to know you, so why do you want more? I know this answer may seem trivial ... duh - anyone who goes to church for one sunday would realize this. But how hard is it to live out...FULLY. Wholeheartedly. 100%. This world screams with temptations of love, happiness, and momentary joy. The great part is - Jesus didn't have to scream it out. He lived it out. He died for it. He defeated death so that IT...true love, happiness, and His Joy...can be found through Him and only Him. Living in this world is hard, but the reward comes after this temporary life is lived and we get to experience joy for eternity. That is satisfaction at its finest.
So...when satisfaction is searched for in this world, it may never truly be found. We will always have this world throwing things out way, but isn't it nice to know that in the mere search for Jesus, we can truly be satisfied...that's all it takes...just searching - to know Him more, to love Him more, to follow Him. We may now know everything, but just a part of Jesus is more than enough. Praise Jesus!
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