Three Years with Jesus!

Three years ago on May 14, 2011. I sat alone and convicted in my room overlooking the mountains in Snowmass, Colorado. I wasn’t where I wanted to be, and I had come to the end of me. I didn’t know where else to turn, so with the energy I could muster, I cried, “Fine, Jesus, let’s do this.” Nothing had worked, so I said yes. The road of “me” immediately ended, and little did I know what was ahead. All He wanted was for me to acknowledge that He had better, and we started running in the opposite direction, changing everything I knew about life. Fading out the lies, He spoke truth in their place. Looking back, I can only see His face. He led me out of darkness, and brought me into life. He covers my past, He died for my mistakes, and He is all I want to see no matter where I am looking. His hand of mercy, so strong and sure, led me to…

Today. I sit alone and in awe in my room overlooking the terraces of my neighbors in Rome, Italy. May 14, 2014 marks three years of “Me and Jesus,” as my phone so beautifully reminded me this morning as I awoke. I’m not at all where I thought I would be, but I am where I’m supposed to be. Thank God that He sees beyond my selfish, narrow-minded, prayers of want to guide me to where He knows is best. Who knew that “finding myself” and finding all of Him would be lived out in this beautiful country. My dream was to visit. God uses our dreams to give us purpose and to bring glory to His name. I remember a friend saying when I was about 13 years old, “God doesn’t give us desires that He won’t fill.” I’ve never known that to be truer. 

At the core of everything I desired, in any given moment in my life, was always Him. 

He knows that. We are wired with the innate longing for our Savior. He knew that when I got down to the nitty-gritty of what I truly wanted in life it would be Him. Then Italy came, on a beautiful silver platter, but I knew that accepting it was recognizing the reality that everything was changing. Accepting Jesus in my heart was accepting the journey we would take together (though I didn’t know that at the time)… the good, the bad, the hard, and the joy. I would have never guessed in my wildest dreams that I would be where I am. True, I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. No, I don’t know the next step I’m taking when I leave Italy. But God called me on to this beautiful and intricately woven road, so I trust Him to lead the way. I’ve realized the joy of walking with Jesus begins with the fact that I don’t have to have it all together to be loved by Him. If that were the case I would never be worthy enough to be called His. He calls us though we are weak and sinful into a life of joy and promise.

If I’m being honest, I had a lot more to say but realizing the gravity of where God has brought me I leaving me nothing short of speechless. He took me from the Rocky Mountains to Rome, Italy to prove that His dreams for me are bigger than I could dream for myself. 

He took me from the bars in Athens, GA to a church in Atlanta, Georgia to show He is worthy of all of my praise. 

He brought me from depression, from self-hatred, from screaming voices of lies and wrapped my identity in Him and deemed me worthy of love. 

He took me from death to life and made a way in everlasting unity with Him. 

Really, all I can say is, 3 years with Jesus has changed everything. I have a feeling that it doesn’t end any time soon. So, all I can do is keep my eyes on Him and trust He knows more, He sees more, and He loves more. He is good! He is worthy! Realizing that this is just the beginning, I will just hold on tightly and enjoy this beautiful ride. Happy Anniversary Jesus :) 

"We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand - out in the wide open spaces of God's grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise!" Romans 5:1